You're a terrible son. You're a terrible brother. You're a terrible boyfriend. You never think of the consequences, and you go. Your thrill seeking tendencies have led you to a level of fucked up you would never had reach without. And one where you are addicted you want to feel like you're on a bad trip all the time, because through these shady lens, you can truly see the damage you've done.

So remember: it's not worth it.

It really isn't. You need to start facing those issues and quit those silly habits.. all while completing your assignments on time. You've faced withdrawals many times before, you know how it feels like. And it hasn't been long since the last time you quit, so it's easy. Stop smoking.

Learn to face shame. Perhaps it is that which had twisted me. I am definitely on a low, but a functioning low, and this is the state of mind I need to be in. Gotta step up.

Stay strong.