I am feeling nothing but depression in this world right now. I keep trying to think of my mum, my sister, my father, happy things, things that give me strength. But I keep forgetting. I just keep slipping back into that dark, dark place inside my mind. I am not suicidal though. I don't want to die or anything. I just want to better myself and be okay.

Mum told me that life was full of ups and downs, but it doesn't change anything. I get her pain, and it was sound advice. Let's just stand up and be strong.

I guess for a while I just really needed some company. Living with someone you love is hard, because there are days when I'm just down and I don't want to inflict it on someone else. There is no distance when people are too close and that just lets me drag them down with me.

So then I decided, it was definitely time to write, just close my eyes and type on the keyboard, all my stupid feelings, overwhelming emotions and just let them rip.

So okay. Done now. Feeling slightly better? I don't know, but I should definitely go shower and sleep.